::just in case you missed it::

Our dossier was received at our agency's HQ, and according to the Ethiopia team member who looked at it, all is in order (HUGE sigh of relief...I was a little worried I might have missed something, even with all the double and triple and quadruple checking). 

We were officially added to the waiting list yesterday!! 

Now, we could be on this list for up to 14 months, so we're prepared for a long wait.  That's okay, though, actually.  We have a lot of funds to come up with (especially considering that we are approved for 2 children!), so now is the time to look at grant applications and work on our family CD.  As I mentioned in my last post, we also have a 5K/10K in the works.  May 19th seems to be the tentative date for that, so mark you calendars!  

That's all the adoption news for now. 
We've got one cute little guy who asks daily about his little brother (um.....I sure hope we get a boy, because Isaiah's counting on it even though we've told him it could be a sister!)

Please excuse my appearance--I was headed to the gym!

::out of our hands::

I am so glad to have our dossier officially on its way to our agency!

I had only one little hang up when I was ready to finally mail it, and that was only because I had read some directions incorrectly.  We had to quickly get some additional passport size photos made at the last minute because I thought we only needed one for each of us (you get two pics when you have them done--one was sent for our passports, one left over), but in fact, we needed two for the dossier. 

I'm just happy to have it OUT of our hands at this point.  No more waiting on ME to get documents together!  Once the agency receives it, they'll check it over, add some of their documents and send it on its way.  When it is in Ethiopia and all translated and approved, then we'll go on the waiting list.  We could be on the list anywhere from 2 months to 14 months.  There really is no way to know how quickly or slowly it will move.  We have already received one phone call for a possible referral from another African country, but the criteria was not something we were able to commit to, so we said no (which felt like an impossible thing to do, by the way.  I know we'll have more situations like this that arise, and each case will be as difficult to assess and pray about as the last.  This is one part of adoption that is just very hard.).  Who knows what could come once our dossier is actually approved and we're on the list?  Still, we are prepared for a very long wait time on the list as that seems to be the current climate for Ethiopian adoption right now.
We've got plenty to fill our time, though.  We've got our family CD in the works as our main fundraiser, but there is also a local organization that is going to put on a 5K/10K run/walk for us and our friends who are also adopting from Ethiopia.  This event should take place some time in May, and after running their event in Cape last fall, I am really looking forward to it!

(That's me, by the way.  I finished first in my bracket!)

{Although....I am now in the 30-39 age bracket....so, well, let's not talk about that, actually.}

:::::
We went out to dinner last night as a family, and decided to try a Mediterranean restaurant that we'd not heard of before.  A friend had recommended a smaller Italian/Mediterranean place, and we should have tried her recommendation because the place we ended up eating at was extremely disappointing.  William did a month long stint in Jerusalem when he was in college, and he fell in love (no exagerration) for the falafel.  And when he introduced me to it, I quickly became addicted.  I blogged years ago about our love for a certain Mediterranean restaurant with the best falafel EVER that has since closed and reopened in a different location.  After last night's disappointment, I so wish we'd gone back to the place we know and love. 
We did enjoy our time, though.  Isaiah has had a cold and hasn't felt well, but he was totally on board with the Lebanese cheese bread. :)

Happy weekend to you all!

::biometrics appointment overview::

 Well.  It has been a busy couple of days of gathering up the last of our dossier paperwork and tying up as many loose ends as possible.  I've had a harried, rushed headachey feel from staring at the computer screen and mounds of paperwork for the last couple days.  (Yes, I am wearing a cheesy Valentine's t-shirt that says "I Love My Hubby.  You know you love it.)

 (This is supposed to be a picture wherein you notice how many piles of papers are lying on the table, thus invoking your pity for me.  It didn't work?  Oh.)

We had our appointment at USCIS St. Louis at the Federal Building this morning at 8 a.m.  Eight. A.M.  Downtown St. Louis.   We didn't have any control over this, so we just had to get there.  Thankfully, a friend from church offered up her parents' home as a place for us to crash the night before.  Another sweet family from church kept our son overnight so we could make this quick trip without having to entertain a 3 year old.  How thankful we are for folks who are, in their own particular ways and giftings, helping us along this path towards Ethiopia! 

We got up plenty early to make the drive in from Wildwood where we stayed into downtown, but we did have some frantic moments in St. Louis rush hour traffic. (We have lived in a small town for too long.)  We were also worried about getting to our appointment late.  The notice we received from the Department of Homeland Security (intimidating!!) says to show up when they tell you.  If you miss it, your application for immigration (I-600A) is considered abandoned.  This is a $1K application.  We were a little nervous when we got stuck in traffic, but we ended up at the USCIS biometrics office about ten minutes before they even opened.  We were seen quickly and treated kindly.  The nice ladies even told us that had we been late, they would have gladly worked us in since we were coming from so far.  :)

We were done by 8:45, and that's only because yours truly has such dry, cracked, old woman hands this time of year that my prints weren't coming up well on the scanner.  Next time, I will moisturize a LOT in the days preceding my appointment.  :) 

Our trusty guide. 

Who has an English accent. 

Because who doesn't listen when a computer with an English accent tells you where to go?

The federal building was all big and scary and official with its metal detectors and armed guards.  I get nervous in places like this.  Like, airports. And that time I had federal court jury duty. 

I'm so afraid I'm going to get into trouble. 

When the guard asked me if I was wearing a belt after the detector thing screeched at me, I said, "Um, no," only after I looked down at my waist.  What?!?  I never wear a belt.  I'm not even sure I own one.  Idiot.

 

But...all went well.  We got our form stamped and made it out quickly.

 We're done!  Yay!

Now.  Find me some coffee.  Because I am definitely as tired as  I look here.

(This guy is HOT.)

We stumbled upon City Coffeehouse and Creperie.  Good coffee (Green Mountain--a favorite!) and a fabulous freshly made crepe filled with...NUTELLA. 
That's it.
I quit. 
No more dieting.
No more exercising. 
Just me and Nutella filled crepes from now on. 

We made a stop for our first time to Trader Joe's.  (I know.  We live under a rock.)  But, we made a couple of purchases including:

Seemed appropriate.  :)

And then we stopped in Jackson, MO, to pick up this precious little man whom we missed very much. 

Doll baby.



SO! What we do now is:

*Finish last two pieces of paperwork and get them notarized

*Have doctor's office redo our medical clearance (which expired....)

*Wait for State Certificed documents to come back from Secretary of State's Office

*Wait for USCIS to finish processing our I-600A and send us the form we need for our dossier (could  

    take a month)

*Copy everything twice.

*Check two dozen times to make sure we've finished it all.

*SEND OFF DOSSIER!

::faith like a little child::

I've been feeling a little discouraged about this whole waiting thing. 

I knew going into international adoption that we would wait a long time for our kids, but the wait time is almost double what I thought it would be.  Not that this knowledge would have deterred us from choosing Ethiopia.  We still would have chosen Ethiopia. 
But still. 

I've heard some discouraging reports of families who have inched up the list at an appallingly slow rate.  And here recently I've felt that old familiar prickle in my heart when I see families around me expanding at the "regular" rate that I have long desired. 

I started to feel a little sorry for myself this morning, I'll admit.  I stood at the stove making pancakes like I do every Saturday morning, and I was surprised to feel the press of tears and two little rivers dripping down my cheeks.  My heart ached for what is not yet to be.  And as I wiped the self-pity from my face, I asked the Lord to forgive my impatience and told Him how thankful I am for my son.  I was just flipping a pancake over in the pan when Isaiah waltzed into the kitchen, all smiles and excitement over "pantakes!"  It was impossible not to realize how blessed I am.  I remembered our conversation from yesterday, and decided to just pray with faith.

I often ask Isaiah if he remembers what our plans are for the day after I've given him a run-down of our agenda.  He does well knowing what's coming, so I like to help him remember.  We were walking up the stairs yesterday afternoon to get him in bed for a nap. 
"Hey Buddy, do you remember what we're going to do after your nap?"  I was expecting him to remember that we were going out to dinner.

"We're going to get 'Cinnamon!'"  My heart sank a little, as it often does.  He regularly thinks that our plans to bring Simeon home are right around the corner, possibly tomorrow. 

"No, Baby, we're not going to get Simeon tonight.  Actually, we're not going to get him for a long time.  You'll probably be five years old by the time he gets here!"

"Nope.  No, Mama.  I'm going to be three." 

"Well, that would be neat, but I think you're going to be much bigger when Simeon gets home."

"And 'Taris.'"  (Charis, our girl name.)

By now, I'm tucking him into bed.  I decided to pull up the covers and slide into bed next to him.  I let him choose a book from his book shelf.  Of course, he chooses When God Found Us You, a precious book about adoption from the view of a Mama Fox who waits and waits and waits for her baby, Little Fox.  I read the book, choking down the knot in my throat.  When I finished, I gently explained to him that he was a gift from God just like Little Fox.  That our family was formed by adoption, and that his birthmommy had prayed and waited until she decided to choose Mommy and Daddy to be Isaiah's family. 

"And you know, Buddy, when God sends Simeon to us, we will adopt him too, and he will be your brother.  And I will be his Mommy, too.  And Daddy will be his Daddy, too."

"Yeah.  And what will 'Taris' be?"

"Well, if God gives us Simeon and Charis at the same time, then Charis will be my daughter and she'll be your sister."

"Yeah!  Cinnamon and Taris."

I swallowed.

"You know, Baby, God might not choose to give us Simeon and Charis at the same time.  He might just give us Simeon this time."  How do you explain to a three year old that we haven't actually been matched with any child, won't be for quite a long time, and that we have no idea what that child will be--boy or girl?  It's likely to be a boy, given statistics.  It's possible we could get two children at once, but...that's something we're praying specifically for.  "So, we might not get Charis this time.  It might just be Simeon."

"No, Mama.  It will be Cinnamon and Taris together.  I want Cinnamon and Taris together."

I can't stop the tears from welling up in my eyes.  I pull his warm little body closer to mine and pray for wisdom.
"So do I, Buddy.  I want them both together to come be our family.  But, we will just have to ask God to bring them together.  We'll have to trust that He knows what's best for us and what's best for them."

"I ask God to bring them together."  He is so determined.  So not worried. 

"You want to pray for God to bring both of them?" I ask.

"Yeah, I pay."  So I tell him to go ahead and pray.  You can imagine how hard I am trying not to cry. 

"Dear God, please keep Cinnamon and Taris.  Bring them home together.  Cinnamon and Taris, bring them together. Amen!"   So simple.  So determined.  So settled.  No question.

Because my tenderhearted little guy is totally alarmed when he sees me cry, I am trying really hard not to burst into a big, old ugly cry.  I dab at my eyes and put on a big smile.  Please, God, answer our prayer.  This prayer.  Please.

"That's great, Isaiah.  I like that prayer.  That's what we're gonna keep on praying."  I kiss his cheeks, tell him how much, how much, how much I love him.  How thankful I am for him.  Tucking him in, I tell him goodnight and leave his bedroom.  My heart is so heavy and yet so full. 

I know Isaiah is three years old.  I realize he is not regenerate, that he needs a new heart, and this is what we pray daily for.  But, I am reminded of Jesus' words in the Gospels about coming to the Father like a little child.  And I understand a little better that finality of faith, that firm determination to believe that God will supply all our needs, that unquestioning, unwavering security in God's plan.  It is settled.  I am secure in His hands.  Our family is secure in His hands.  Simeon and Charis, whoever they are, wherever they are, whenever they are, are secure in His hands. And our coming together as family, however it looks, is secure in His sovereignty.  I don't have to worry or question.  I can just pray.  With faith.  With determination.  With fierce trusting.  His plans are good, whatever they might be.

How thankful I am for the reminder to have childlike faith and trust in our good God.

-glenna-

::dossier::

We are working through it.  It's kind of a lot of "hurry up and wait" stuff. 

We are getting there! 
Our biometrics appointment with the USCIS office is on February 1st, and we hope to have everything else completed by then if all the stuff we've sent in comes back in time (passports, state certification, etc.).

While I'm happy to get this dossier stuff on the way soon, I am a little discouraged with the Ethiopia timeline right now.  From what we understand, the wait time between dossier submission and referral is 13-14 months right now.  Then another 4 months or so until our first trip to Ethiopia for court, and then another 2 months or so before our second trip to bring our kids home.  This is a much longer process than it was a year ago in Ethiopia. 

Another 18 months--minimum!?!?!??  My heart is ALREADY aching for our kiddos!  All throughout our Christmas travels, I felt like part of our family was missing---not yet complete.  How can you miss children you do not know?  How can my heart well up with both sadness and excitement when I think about the little unknown faces that may join our family?
And yeah....you read that correctly. Children.  Faces. Even though our age limit is 2 and under, we are open to a sibling group/twins (either gender).  We realize that with an age limit like that coupled with the fact that our agency doesn't refer children together who are not biologically related, it is unlikely that we get a referral for two children, but that is what I am praying for. 

I'm also praying for this process to move a little faster.  I understand and respect the new and tighter regulations that Ethiopia is enforcing.  For heaven's sake, I'm GLAD they are researching and doing what they can to ensure that the children being adopted are truly orphaned or honestly voluntarily relinquished--not trafficked or relinquished as a result of coercion. 
That said, while I pray for patience in my own restless heart, I'm also praying for the process to move efficiently. 

Please pray for us as we finish up our dossier paperwork for submission.  Pray that we don't miss anything (a real request!  this stuff is confusing!), that everything is submitted and approved in a timely manner, and that we are done with our part in February. 

The Lord has graciously provided all that we need for each step of this adoption so far.  He has been faithful and I believe He will be faithful to provide the rest.  Pray that He will do so and that He will teach us to trust Him utterly. 
::::::
A little while ago I was writing our letter to the Ministry in Ethiopia telling them why we want to adopt.  I wrote words like this:
love
security
family
permanence
safety
faith
 
Gosh, I cannot TELL you how this pierces my heart.  Children languish in orphanages RIGHT NOW. 
Millions of children.  Millions of little bodies with little souls who need love, security, family (YOUR family!), permanence, safety, faith....JESUS. 

Oh, Jesus.

All the things You have given us--times a hundred billion. 
You are the Sustainer and Upholder of my life. 
Sustain and uphold the lives of these children.
Of our children. 

Godspeed this process.

::Merrry Christmas!::

I didn't mean to quit blogging, but life has been busy, challenging, and full.  Some things have had to go, and I guess I unintentionally let blogging become one of those things. 

A word about what we've been up to lately and how the adoption process is going.

Two weeks ago, we filed our I-600A form, which is an advanced application for immigration. Then, my friend Shawdi who is also adopting from Ethiopia informed me that she thinks I filled out the form wrong on one question. Upon examining our agency's guidelines (which I'd been unable to access when I filled out my forms), I realized that sure enough, I had filled it out incorrectly.  I had a minor major meltdown, called UPS (thank the LORD I had used a courier instead of the postal system!!), and intercepted my papers the day before they were to arrive at the USCIS office. What a logistical nightmare that would have been if they'd been filed with my incorrect information! UPS called me when the package was returned (no charge!) and I corrected my work and refiled the papers on Wednesday of this week.  Whew!  I now see why my agency strongly recommends using a courier service for sending all these important documents.  Tracking is so important!

For Ethiopian adoption (from what I understand about the process at this point), you file this form, wait for approval which goes in your dossier, file the I-600 in person in Addis Ababa, and then complete the process in the US after coming home with your child. 

We have done a few little parts of our dossier, but with the holidays here I've put a lot of it off until after the first of the year.  I've given myself a deadline to complete it all by January 31st, and will hopefully be ready to turn in our dossier if our I-600A approval has come in by then.  You can pray that that approval process will go quickly! Then we wait for approval for our dossier, and some time after that we go on the waiting list.  I would LOVE to be traveling to Ethiopia this time next year!!  (Or earlier, if the Ethiopian government speeds up the process this year.)
The more I pray for our next child(ren) by name, the more my heart misses them, and I feel that our family is certainly not yet complete.  If he is already born, thinking about being separated from him at Christmas makes me long to know him and be with him.

When I was at the UPS store with Isaiah mailing our USCIS papers, a lady in line behind me asked Isaiah what he was getting for Christmas.  Knowing that we were mailing papers to help bring Simeon home (if it's a boy), Isaiah replied, "Cinnamon," which is the best he can pronounce Simeon at this point.  The lady looked super confused, but my heart had absolutely melted into one big puddle.  I didn't explain to the lady, but instead just treasured it up in my heart.  :)

:::::

There is a lot I could say about this year....2011 has been a hard, difficult, bruising, humbling year. 

And yet--God has shown Himself to be absolutely faithful and true, steady and unchanging.  We have sought refuge in the shadow of His wings, and He has loved us through a terribly difficult season.  With health problems, anxiety, depression, heartbreaking turmoil within our church family, uncertainty--with all of these things, God has secured us with the love that He swore to His people. He has shown us where we have sinned (be careful when you pray for the Lord to show you your sin...it's so very humbling!), taught us to forgive, comforted us with His Word in a way we have never experienced before, and He has given us JOY that is anchored in who He is--in His character, not in our circumstances. 

As it stands now, we are experiencing a time of sweet peace, and I believe that those who have walked the hard roads with us this year are being knitted more tightly together in love.  Meditating these past 23 days on the Incarnation of Christ has been balm to our souls, a time of reflection to center us on the Gospel.  When I focus on the incredible truth that Immanuel--GOD IS WITH US--I can only praise the Lord for His momentous, enduring work of redemption.  Oh, He is to be praised for His plan to send Christ to us, to step down from His throne and to put on flesh.  The One who made us came to live with us!  And not only that, but to die for us, to rise from the dead for us, to REDEEM us. 

One night while walking through our Advent meditations with Isaiah, our little three year old made the observation that in the stable in Bethlehem, there was "God on the hay."  Out of the mouth of babes comes the truth that we celebrate at Christmas--it truly was GOD on the hay. 

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

A little Christmas love from Isaiah:

-glenna-

::only 8%::

"The truth is that there are children...all over the world,sick, starving, dying, unloved, and uncared for. 

The truth is that the 143 million orphaned children and the 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases and the 8.5 million who work as child slaves, prostitutes, or under other horrific conditions and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million needy children.  And though at first glance that looks like a big number, *2.1 billion people on this earth proclaim to be Christians. 

The truth is that if only 8 percent of the [professing] Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics left.

This is the Truth. I have the freedom to believe it.  The freedom, the opportunity to do something about it.  The truth is that He loves these children just as much as He loves me and now that I know, I am responsible."


-Katie Davis, Kisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption, pgs. 91-92.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*We all realize "professing" Christians does not mean true, regenerate followers of Christ.  But even if you cut that number in HALF, the percentage of people needed to care for one child is still a mere fraction of the total number of believers in Christ. 
Now you know. 
Now I know. 
Now we are responsible.

::so long, september::

My clock went off at 6 a.m. this morning.  I dragged myself downstairs where I followed my morning routine that consists of hitting the brew button on my coffee pot and then crawling under a blanket on the couch until I hear the coffee pot beep, at which point I negotiate with myself and tell myself the coffee needs to "steep" or something for at least five more minutes, right?...which turns into exactly eight minutes when my eyes pop open and I realize I really do need to get up because Isaiah Marshall only sleeps for so long. 

I had my now fully-steeped, snooze-button coffee during my Bible reading and prayer time, after which I jumped into my running clothes (and by jumped, I of course mean that I moved veerrrryyy slowly up the steps, wrapped my toe in tape, pulled on my running clothes which need to be washed, by the way, and stretched while lacing up my shoes).  It was cold out this morning, but pretty.

I logged five miles, and finished up my morning routine of getting myself and my kiddo ready.  We followed William to the church, where I worked on bulletins and such for a while while William worked on his sermon.  I made a quick grocery stop and then packed up a picnic for my family and asked my husband to meet us at the park on his lunch break. 

And this was a great way to spend our lunch time!  I am reminded every fall that I really, really love this season.  After months of sticky, humid, hot weather--this season comes like a breath of fresh air. 
Enjoy some pics from our day. 

 waiting for daddy to arrive

 i'm not sure what isaiah's face is communicating here....he didn't want to stop eating for the camera.  :)

 perhaps this picture might remind you....

 ...of this picture:

(August 2008)

isaiah's expression is still kind of the same three years later. :)

 there's always a little wrestling that must happen.

Gorgeous day.  A family I am so blessed to be a part of. 

Love my boys.

Adoption update:  We are done with our homestudy, and we're waiting for our social worker to write up our homestudy report for approval.  Then we'll move on to the next step.  :) 

Happy Fall! 
-glenna-

::Homestudy::

We have turned in all of our homestudy paperwork and had our first home visit on Friday.  We loved our new social worker and look forward to working with her throughout the rest of our adoption process.  The visit was no big deal, and we weren't a bit nervous since we've done this before.  I remember preparing for our first home visit for Isaiah's adoption, and I'm pretty sure I was taking cookies out of the oven right before the social worker arrived.  This time, I was in the bathroom coaxing a three year old to poop on the potty.  Things have most certainly (and thankfully) changed around here.  :)

Isaiah was a gem while our worker was here.  I truly could not have asked for a sweeter attitude from him--he was not a bit shy and charmed Ms. Joy right off the bat. I'm glad she got to see him in his element.  (Sometimes he's shy in other surroundings.)  I love that boy so much.  He is so excited about bringing "Cinnamon" home.  This process has given us several opportunities to talk about his own adoption (in simple, age-appropriate terms), and although most of it goes right over his head, we hope that he sees adoption as a very normal thing for our family.  It is the way God has chosen to knit our family together. 

Our homestudy wrap-up visit will be on the 23rd, so we're looking forward to completing this leg of the journey.  After that meeting, we'll wait for our social worker to write up our homestudy report, wait for approval, and then we'll begin gathering our dossier paperwork.  At some point after the approval, we'll file for immigration, I think.   But I'll be honest...after this point, I really don't know what I'm talking about.  From here on out, this part of adoption is uncharted territory for the Marshall's. 

We've still got quite a ways to go, but it's exciting to think that at least one major part is nearly completed.  We covet your prayers for the rest of our process, for our daily life here in ministry, and for us as we prepare to add to our family. 
May Christ be glorified and may we be made more like Him.

::reflecting on forgiveness of sin::

From The Valley of Vision, pg. 10:

"I deny [my sin] not, frame no excuse, but confess, 'Father, I have sinned.'
Yet still I live, and fly repenting to thy outstretched arms;
   thou wilt not cast me off, for Jesus brings me near,
   thou wilt not condemn me, for He died in my stead,
   thou wilt not mark my mountains of sin, for He levelled all,
   and His beauty covers my deformities.
O my God, I bid farewell to sin by clinging to His cross,
   hiding in His wounds, and sheltering in His side."